New Years Resolutions

[Starbucks Junkie]

As we all start a new year, it is time again to make those ever so
important New Year's Resolutions. I have faithfully made such
resolutions in the past, and while I haven't been able to keep all of
them, I have tried my best to continue making progress on them year
after year. Following is my revised list of "New Year's Resolutions -
2008 Edition":

Resolution #1
2005: I will try to be a better husband to Tracey.
2006: I will not leave Tracey.
2007: I will try for a reconciliation with Tracey.
2008: I will try to be a better husband to Julie.

Resolution #2
2005: I will go to church every Sunday.
2006: I will go to church as often as possible.
2007: I will set aside time each day for prayer and meditation.
2008: I will try to catch Songs of Praise on TV.

Resolution #3
2005: I will not let my boss push me around.
2006: I will not let my sadistic boss drive me to the point of suicide.
2007: I will stick up for my rights when my boss bullies me.
2008: I will tell Dr. Hodger and the group about my boss.

Resolution #4
2005: I will read at least 20 good books a year.
2006: I will read at least 10 books a year.
2007: I will read 5 books a year.
2008: I will finish the Daily Sport.

Resolution #5
2005: I will not get upset when Charlie and Sam make jokes about my baldness.
2006: I will not get annoyed when Charlie and Sam kid me about my
toupee.
2007: I will not lose my temper when they tell the guys I wear a
girdle.
2008: I will not speak to Charlie and Sam.

Resolution #6
2005: I will get my weight down below 18 stone.
2006: I will watch my calories until I get below 19 stone.
2007: I will follow my new diet religiously until I get below 20 stone.
2008: I will try to develop a realistic attitude about my weight.

Resolution #7
2005: I will not take a drink before 5:00 p.m.
2006: I will not touch the bottle before noon.
2007: I will not become a "problem drinker".
2008 : I will not miss any AA meetings.

Happy New Year

SJ

[Deepak Arecal]

A girl checking weight: 58 kg
Removes Sandles: 57 kg
Than Jacket: 55 kg
Than dupatta: 54 kg
Her coins gets over.
Boy in queue says: Carry on.. I'll put the coins.